3/17/2023 0 Comments Screenit radioland murders![]() ![]() And I got to leave some room for a sequel, my Super-Insane Attempt to Rank All Cinema. It's why there's a blank space next to 3000 ranked movies. That's why there's a blank space next to Rear Window. Go see Rear Window! That's my discussion. I'm not sure I can reduce it to a one page funny discussion, though. I could probably write something that might increase your enjoyment of Rear Window. How hard is that? I just ain't in a Rear Window mood right now. I know I could, cause some guy already did, so I just have to copy what he did. You want a 19-page dissertation on Rear Window? I could write a book on Rear Window. I wrote a frickin' thesis paper on Rear Window. Why am I skipping films? Don't I have anything to say about Rear Window ? Yeah, I do. I got the special OCD that leaves room for free bird. Now you're probably wondering, what kind of OCD you got, if you're skipping around with the commentary, all ad hoc and random like that. Which still left like 3,290 movies surrounded by white double space. So I added in insightful commentary, smart-ass commentary, and funny commentary. Underrate comedy at your financial peril! Particularly if you have buck teeth. As a movie ranker from way back, I know that one does not underrate the importance of comedy. Or at least smart-ass and mean commentary. Nothing gives an anonymous movie-ranker a little more credibility than some insightful and brilliant commentary. Meanwhile, I can hear the greenies shrieking about all the white space and the trees that had to die. ![]() Single-spacing, any moron can dump movies in and single-space 'em. Like perhaps some thought and intelligence was put into this ranking. Because, I feel, double-spacing gives each specific ranked movie the Oomph of Importance. And I have actually increased the white space problem by resorting to the nefarious technique of double-spacing. Like, for instance, on page 172 there would be a list of twenty-two movies, and on page 173 there would be a list of twenty-two movies. If I were to attempt to publish my Insane Attempt to Rank All Cinema in some sort of book device with some kind of spine, and pages, it would have within it a huge amount of white space surrounding the list. A more serious problem, or maybe a more secondary problem-cripes, I'm going to start ranking my problems now-is the problem that my Insane Attempt to Rank All Cinema is just a frickin' list of movies, dude. On the other hand, I'm a funny crank and he loves my stuff. Which is kinda like being a prostitute with buck teeth. And a problem with this book idea, as my maybe-future-editor keeps telling me, is that I am a no-name from nowheresville. Cause I'm always looking to prostitute myself if at all possible. One thought I had, is the possibility that maybe there is a book in here somewhere. At a minimum it might cause some strife and name-calling, which is always fun. And my mom, if she was reading this, she would say, yeah, but when's the last time you vacuumed? Why can't your OCD be helpful and a positive boon to humanity? Or at least keep your apartment tidy? And I would respond, I don't know, my movie-related OCD might be helpful to somebody. ![]() You're so OCD you got freaky formulas in your living room. Now you're going to say that's so OCD you're like that guy in A Beautiful Mind. If you are not familiar with my Insane Attempt to Rank All Cinema, I have ranked all the movies I have seen according to the criteria of coolness, awesomeness, quality of the art, merit, whether the art speaks to my soul, and whether I would buy the DVD or just rent it. Anyway, any post where I happened to write something smart, or witty, or smart and witty, or smart ass, or smart-aleck, or where the movie is smartin' from the smack, I would cut and paste this discussion into my Insane Attempt to Rank All Cinema So now you're going to say, dude, you took all your posts and moved them into one post? That's the most OCD thing I ever heard. Now you're going to tell me that all I had to do was press a button somewhere. And the Motley Fool took off the search function where you could type in 00 and get all your posts. Okay, for the past several days I have been scrolling through this message board for all my movie posts, which is like six or seven years of activity and three or four years of silence. ![]()
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